Posts tagged dnr:

2020 goals:

•Work on my Undertale AUs more

•Maybe start posting an actual AU comic

•Practice on learning witchcraft n shit

•Don’t fucking die of sadness dude


I still need to clean the lines but I think (?) I got the colors for Caelestis now, and put them on his ref... also feat. sketchy eyes and words written with my finger bc I don't have my stylus.

...That's character reference 3 of 6, technically, though the other refs are either not drawn by me (since the character was a gift) or kinda old, but it's fine lol. Glad to have another one down, even if not clean...


unicorns reblogged unicorns
unicorns -

Called it, Lane just did poorly on a maths test. I told her it would happen and she just refused to believe me. Ha!


unicorns -

She underperformed but I still can't get her to feel bad about it... Why am I failing with this? It's my job!


Called it, Lane just did poorly on a maths test. I told her it would happen and she just refused to believe me. Ha!


MORE VENTING!!! WOOO!!!

ugh i feel like my biggest problem is my abuser was able to disguise herself as the 'mom friend' and the 'nice one' so all my stories of her abuse feel definetly faked in the grand scheme of things

like i know im not gonna get closure or really ANY help from that community but it would be nice for someone to call her on her bs at some point


I'm big pissed about the whole world pissing and shitting on sword and shield when we don't even have the game yet. 

Maybe it's because I've kept myself away from all new content reveals since galarian Ponyta, but I'm sick of everything and everyone being extremely reactionary, in a lot of cases spreading wildly misrepresented information, condemning gamefreak as a demon murdering their only child and then going 'huff I'm gonna buy the game anyway'. 

I feel like it's just an extension of a culture that already exists and is super prevalent at the moment, but it's the first game I've involved myself with since Diamond and Pearl if only because I finally can and everyone's bitching is draining on my excitement. I'm damn happy I've isolated myself from any new news, ngl, but people keep ragging on Gamefreak as if they're some depraved company that's truly struck a low blow to us. I feel like I'm the only fucking person left who has a memory longer than 3 years and still has at least a modicum of faith that sculpted my childhood.

 


Unbearable stupid ibs or whatever the fuck pain =classic


Musing on Identity

So there was talk about aspecting in the postfurry discoard the other day (aspecting as I understand it is purposefully taking on an identity to take on personality characteristics that are more useful for life or a situation). 

 

I want to do the thing, and it's a lot like some of the original idea I had for my like 5+fursonas when I first really got into the fandom. Each was based on a part of me. I never really went too far with it, but now I'm wondering if I should revisit? 

 

My species ID is a shapeshifter so giving Myself different forms for certain situations wouldn't even be that weird???

 

I donno, still thinking on it. Might bring it up in counciling ifni have time, she seems like she would grok the idea fairly easily.


WIP

A sneak peak at my October design. Inspired by tarot, specifically card 13 of the major arcana- Death


can’t post the official png rn but i was drawing his ref and realized he was standing like a dating sim chara so i


Progress

-makes spooky noises- art is maaaaagggiiiiccc


#Dnr


Possibility of me deleting bc I'm in the middle of a breakdown and I like disappearing and deleting my existence from the internet so fucking 👌 have fun with that we'll see what happens


man i really wish i like...knew why i hate my art so much. i just...i cant like it and i dont know why. i dont understand why people like it and i dont understand why i dont like it hbhh


I'm swinging and thinking 

Lost and feeling

Undecided on most everything

Determining the inkling 


Who is wanted and needed 

Most all are conceited 

My inner optimist demanded

No omens succeeded 


An icoherent mess

Tingling boney carcass 

Stinking bodies will assess 

Peeling off the dress




When I'm no longer confined to mobile I'll finally be able to reblog all the posts that I've been opening but not rbing because it's hard on mobile!!

Also fun fact you can tell if I'm on mobile or not because if my tags start with a capital my device does that automatically, but my computer doesn't


Brain stuff meme’ified 

My brain - The good news is that you have no anxiety

Me - :D

My brain - The bad news is that you are overcome by melancholy

Me - D:


Short venty thing

Tw for anxiety talk

Just rip my anxiety hasn't been very good today. Sucks. Tried getting referred to a therapist but the receptionist's at my GPs medical practice are so sucky. Couldn't get my name right even though it's on the system and of course. I have to say. They were pretty rude to me so I just left. So no idea what to do-


kin vent under the cut

the idea that you aren’t real and were never real is scary

there’s no way to address that fear without being made aware of it


i started a tumblr recovery/trauma related blog and decided, bc i wanted to, to look up a*y d*nne from the movie gone girl on the website

i have never regretted a decision more


a friend suggesting that i might have bpd just kinda like, clicked something in my mind for me? i dont know why i never rlly...thought about it when i have a majority of the key symptoms n_n

im just...im wary w self-dx bcuz i dont want ppl to get on my ass about it but i cant,, afford therapy and i get so scared when talking to people because of my undiagnosed mental illnesses because of how i can come across


Getting Anxiety about coming into waterfall now... Don't really want to lose a decent site because of this but I'm kind of terrified to come on now bc I'm scared the old hate from Tumblr is just gonna start up again bc I'm gonna find a way to piss someone off bc that's what I'm good at doing evidently


This is the night it all crashes down on me. The whole fucking deal. 


guys, I need help right now.

it's about my niece, I'm really worried about her. (violence and sh tw)

the way my sister spoke about her, it's like my niece is exactly how I was when I was her age, though I think she might even be a bit _more_ violent and it's starting younger than it did for me. it's gotten so bad that my nephew and sister are staying somewhere else tonight just to get a break. sister says she might come downstairs to talk.

and I kind of want to ask my niece to come down and talk to me because the NHS is doing fuck all. my family's waiting for a pediatric therapist to get back to them. it's a lot more difficult to get mental health care up here. and my niece can't talk to anyone because my sister took her phone off her since she's been misbehaving.

sister says she's been self harming and god, I really think it's because she saw my scars last year.

right now I'm in the living room, she's upstairs in her bedroom. it's 10Pm and my sister/nephew left. should I go upstairs and ask if she wants to talk? she's been really quiet and I don't think she'll come down by herself.


almost every server im in or many ppl i follow on social media are talking about how they now have a significant other and my lonely toosh is 🙃

dont get me wrong!! im really happy for them!!! it just reminds me that im always going to be alone though. if no one likes me now, well, i dont think anyone is gonna like me later. doesnt help that im so NEGATIVE and people always find me fucking annoying ugh i fucking hate myself


hrr why am i such a miserable person


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